My Boss-friend’s Back and You’re Gonna Be in Trouble!

Day 20 (6.15.10):  Good news! Our awesome boss came back to us today!!! Yay!!! *doin’ my lil happy dance* She came back just in time to squash the mini rebellion in her cubicle… now for the bad news *sigh*

Bad news #1: Something has come up and she may be out of the office for a few more days. *bummer*
 
Bad news #2: Lost my new assistant, SQL Bunny. Actually she quit. Mumbled something about needing bunny-fits or was that benefits… Anyway, she went back to my 4 year old daughter who apparently has better bunny fits, whatever that means… hmm… that might explain the bite marks on the plant, why my phone cord is in little tiny pieces andwhy is there fur in my coffee cup? Funny, I don’t remember buying any chocolate covered raisins today… hmmm…

And as for being in trouble, the only person/people who may possibly be in trouble is whoever decided we’re doing a major production upgrade on a fairly major holiday weekend without consulting her or anyone on our team (that I know of). Yep. Someone set a date and said “this is when we’re doing it and it’s not like you guys have a lot to do.” We may not have a lot of steps but I believe my DBA buddy *bless her replicated lil heart* mentioned that at least one or more of those steps took the boss around 10 hours to complete the last time she did it. So it’s kind of a major thing for us. And it’ll probably mean the three of us will be working a long weekend this fall. Oh well. It could always be worse, I suppose… Note to self: stock up on anti-dia… err.. antacids…

Hey, guess what? We finally heard back from the vendor as to why the web portal pass-through needs SQL Server 2005 Enterprise and not Standard! Actually our boss found out today verbally. It turns out Enterprise is the only edition they’ve certified their product on. Unless I heard wrong, I believe the alternative will cost around an extra $20K. So our user point of contact has a bit of a decision to make. *cue theme to Jeopardy*

Today a moth flew through our area… which caused us to wonder if that meant it was miller time? *ha!* … if you don’t get it, I’m not explainin’ it…

*sigh*

So… to sum it up here is what I learned during the 2 1/2 weeks the boss was away…

* Mind control experiments learned from cats work fairly well… except with certain developers due to backwards compatibility issues…

* Servers get grumpy and tempermental when the boss leaves…

* Just because a plant likes coffee, doesn’t mean it’ll grow money…

* No matter what you do, vendors will wait until the boss is back to inform anyone as to why the Enterprise edition of SQL Server is needed for a pass-through web portal…*sigh*

* Do not tease your co-worker about replication issues during or after a major go-live production push involving replication (the bruise has finally gone away)…

* Adhoc queries can really suck… up the cache. The “optimize for adhoc workloads” option in SQL Server 2008 creates 300 byte stubs the first time they’re run…

* Sleeves for hot coffee cups are a good thing…

* 4 year old offspring tends to repeat herself as if stuck in an infinite loop which in turn triggers a cpu bottleneck… hmmm… bottleneck… longneck… time for some beer, err.. sorry, where was I?

* Oh yeah… There may be some side effects when converting a developer to the dark side of the data fence… chocolate seems to help… could explain a few things since I was a developer in my prior life… wait, I’m still writing code… so that means I’m still a developer in addition to being a dba… hmmm… I feel an epiphany coming on… why am I giggling?

* Code for encrypted procedures do not show up in cache…*whew! I mean… oh darn it!*

* Splash screens can actually contain useful information…

* Bunnies make good short-term assistants but seem to need bunny fits, I mean benefits… hmm… wonder what would happen if I fed so-called money plant to SQL Bunny

* People actually read my blog! And they *gasp* LIKE it! Which means, that (a) I’ve finally lost my mind or (b) everyone else is crazy and I’m the sane one!  Heh.. yeah, good one!  😉

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